Tears.

I've cried a lot of very big, grown-up tears in the past few days. Tears that stream down my cheeks and follow the curve of my lips until I taste the salt in the corner of my mouth. Tears that make my eyes lose focus and shake even when I've stopped crying. Tears shed because I feel so utterly blank, so cold, so hurt.

Sometimes grown-ups cry bitterly like children, only there is far more pain behind them, making them all the worse. I will not share the reason for my tears, but if you've ever hurt so badly that you couldn't eat for days and you feel as scared as you did as a young child when you thought your parents lost you in the grocery store, you know what I'm feeling right now. It is horrible. Please pray.